How to keep the Family united in these Times

“All things by nature wish to remain in their being”

Leonardo da Vinci

“If you can dream it you can do it”

Walt Disney

“A man should never neglect his family on business.”

Walt Disney

“My business is to make people happy, especially children.”

Walt Disney

“The important thing is the family, if you can keep the family together, and that is the backbone of all our business, which serves families, that is what we hope to do.”

Walt Disney

“We believed in our idea: a family park where parents and children could have fun together.”

Walt Disney

“We try everything we do here, you know … for the family … Actually, we do not make movies for children, but we make movies that children can enjoy together with their parents.” –

Walt Disney

“Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.” –

Walt Disney

Principle of Unity and the Family

Principle of Unity – is the Unitive Product of the Soul: It refers to the Unique Spiritual Faculty. The Soul forms with all its modifications a Unique, Indivisible and Identical object.

Totalizing principle of the Soul: refers to the totalizing Spontaneity of the Soul, where the Soul brings out from a spiritual world a third spiritual world that is distinguished from each of the other two and the aggregate of both. This is the Active and Fecund Principle of the Soul as a creative activity, a relational activity.

That is why, as the Family is a Creator and Life Generator entity, born of a process of Unity- Two people in One and generate a third party, call Sons, it is absolutely difficult to disintegrate, separate or separate it, even when temporarily or spatially members of the family are on one side and others on another side, spatially separated for one reason or another, by this totalizing principle of Soul and Unity, the family is Unique, Indivisible and Identical, product of this Principle of Unity.

If it is the Soul that perceives and creates, it is necessary to create as the Soul perceives: not in a disaggregated way, not in different parts, but as a whole, unique, simple, and indivisible. Thus, Consciousness gives the primitive type of relations of Identity, Continuity and Unity. As these three (3) attributes belong to the Soul and can not be separated from it. Therefore, the Family is inseparably at heart – Metaphysically and Spiritually speaking.

A) Our Ancestors

1.-The Achievements of our ancestors- The Achievements of our Great-grandparents and Grandparents

We have to know and learn from our ancestors, our great grandparents, great grandparents and grandparents.

Understand that they had virtues and defects as equal and similar to ours.

Knowing the achievements of our ancestors makes us understand and understand many things, and how we can imitate them in our environment and present.

2.-The defects and bad things of our Grandparents

Knowing the bad things and defects of our ancestors we can know if we have them and why, we will not judge them but we will know their shortcomings to try not to copy them and avoid them in the way that is possible in ourselves.

3.-The good, positive things of our grandparents

On the other hand, the positive things, achievements and others of our ancestors that derive our talents and abilities, and that is where we will focus to develop them more, polish them, copy their achievements, good things and model all your positive things. That’s where the possibility of my present and future success lies based on my ability to discover how to improve myself from inherited biology and the possibility of improving ourselves through focusing on the good and not the bad, on the talents good and not in the bad things that also exist as everything in life.

None of the above suggests that we have or should have absolute control over our lives and abilities.

Our task now is to replace the simplistic notion of the talents given and the nature that only talents are gifted, by broad and vast new ways of influence, many of them beyond our control, but with the hope of being able to influence and increase our understanding.

The simplest lesson learned from the ultra goal achievers is not how things have been easy for them, but how hard and resilient they have been. It’s a matter of wanting things, wanting to do so many things and never giving up, so much so that you need to be ready to sacrifice time, money, sleep and friends and even sometimes reputation.

You have to adopt a lifestyle of such ambition, not for weeks or months but for years. He has to want so much to be willing to fail and make mistakes, so that these failures and mistakes give him new ways of doing things and learn from them.

People who achieve extraordinary goals require an unusual level of personal motivation and a massive amount of faith.

The sources of motivation are often mysterious. A form of human emotions and psychology, is that deep motivation that comes from many and possible parts. A person may be joyfully inspired, spiritually devout or deeply resentful, motivation may be selfish or revengeful, or prove to someone something good or bad, and all this may be conscious or unconscious Inspiration can come in various forms, a family rivalry, desire to impress a relative, father, brother, children, wife, an insatiable hunger or desire to be loved, or a hatred to fail.

All the great thinkers or inventors are dissatisfied. They always want, they wish they had more education; have worked harder or persevered. And all these people have a high level of self-criticism.

4.-Know about my Genealogical Tree

In addition to interesting and beautiful to know our family tree, as far as possible, this is useful to review and graph where we come from, where our heirs and relatives go.

B) Our Past – our Parents

1.- The Achievements of our Parents

Like our Grandparents, our parents also inherited good and bad things in their biology, psyche and in the physical part.

We must know and remember the achievements of our parents if there are, acknowledge them and even let them know, if our parents are alive.

2.- The defects and bad things of our Fathers

Our Parents also have or had shortcomings and made mistakes. We should not judge them but we can learn from them just like our Grandparents.

3.- Copy and model the good

We must copy and model the good things of our parents, if there are any and many, more than we imagine.

Even when we are unique and given our own talents, we were also bequeathed to our parents, and we must exalt, model and polish them to achieve get the good out of all this.

4.- Try to eliminate the bad

Although our ancestors and parents gave us good talents, even when they seem few or many, also for theological and metaphysical reasons we have bad things, whether they are ours or not, by raising awareness and rationalizing them, by bringing them to the here and now, we can try not to eliminate them completely because it would be absolutely impossible but to minimize them, correct them and improve the bad.

Break with the Dysfunctionalities

After I learned to love myself and I realized that I could attract whatever I wanted, I also understood that loving with all our heart is not enough.

Does loving with all our heart a person can make us have a good relationship with that person?

Throughout my life, for reasons of low esteem and other problems in the process of resolution, I had always thought that the most difficult thing was to make that person so longed to fix on me; that the game of seduction and the laws of attraction were especially difficult for me, and that if I could manage that, everything would be perfect.

So what really happens?

On a path to self-knowledge, long and difficult to travel, I began to investigate something that is quite profound for me (and the rest of the world): my mind. Little by little, I started big battles to give satisfactory answers to my “why”. With that, I came across a point that has been key in my discovery: family patterns.

What are family patterns and why do they influence us?

The way in which our ancestors have lived their relationships, have marked a specific upbringing, generation after generation, becomes a pattern: a common behavior that is repeated through people and time. My grandmother raised my mother in a way similar to the one she raised me. The love relationship that existed and was extinguished between my grandparents, was repeated among my parents. And those are the factors that I say today: I do not want them to repeat themselves in me.

I clarify something very important. It does not mean that they have been 100% bad or good, or that I do not feel grateful for them. It means, on the other hand, that I want to determine the way I want to develop my family and couple life; not simply follow “what they inculcated me”.

These already defined patterns have a very powerful force. They are inserted into our memory even when we are in our mother’s womb, and throughout our lives we unconsciously seek to copy or repeat them.

One of the first books that opened my perspective enough about this point is not what you can think of when reading this.

It is “It ends with us” by the American writer Colleen Hoover. It is a book, or rather, a novel, which is about a love that could at first seem dreamy and wonderful; but as the plot unfolds, it shows how sometimes the person we love the most is the one who can cause the most damage. The protagonist has flashes in which she remembers how much she hated her parents’ relationship, and then she begins to realize that she could be living the same thing. As it is a fiction book she evidently also has a daughter. The story takes a brutal turn in which gives all readers a hard teaching, but amazing, in which no matter how much we love that person, the patterns can be terminated when we decide.

A second book that was even more useful for me was The 4 Agreements written by Mexican physician Miguel Ruiz. The beginning of the book is overwhelming, and throws an inescapable truth: the life we ​​live, and the belief system under which we live is not ours. Everything that we were taught from a young age belongs to the general belief of the society in which we live, and under which our parents made us grow. With every thing that they told us, and that we chose to believe, we made an agreement, in which we are now governed by it. But after that, it shows us how it is possible to have new agreements that are ours, that make us happy; to be able to help around us so that it is too.

A new Paradigm Development requires not only a new intellectual adjustment, but also a moral, psychological and spiritual adjustment. This begins by expanding how we consider our true assets, responsibilities and limits that are not only biological, but also economic, cultural, nutritional, family and ecological training.

The consideration of what we inherit as opposed to what we decide, requires a radical revision. Although genes do not change by themselves from generation to generation, the instructions given to genes can change. This means that I can impact on the genetics that was bequeathed to me.

How to break with family dysfunctions when there are:

The terms dysfunction, dysfunction and dysfunction can refer to the opposite to the functional to a problem that prevents a correct functioning to a problem that prevents a correct social or biological adaptation to an inadequate or counterproductive function.

When we talk about family dysfunction, we logically talk about the malfunction or problems in the family, its members and their environment.

Some points to take into account to manage or avoid this family dysfunction, and that I must work myself:

– Meditate: in your own way, and as you like it, but discovering your feelings towards certain things will help you to see better the cause, and not the consequence.

-Work in you: do things that have always told you not to, but that you had always wanted. Breaking those barriers helps you to be closer to you.

-Read about it: sometimes when something makes us noise, we are afraid to investigate because we do not know what we are going to find; but to be documented on any subject that is of benefit for our evolution, whether it applies directly to us or not, helps us to grow more aware of ourselves.

-Patience: it takes time, effort and many attempts to break with what harms us. But as long as we keep trying, everything will be fine.

And other things that I can do and questions that I have to ask myself, that I must answer in my very personal case to look for the positive change and the constant improvement, when there are dysfunctions like this:

-What bad patterns or dysfunctions should I remove to improve the situation? :

-What should I add to improve the situation of dysfunction ?:

-What should I separate to improve the dysfunctional situation? :

-What should I put together to improve the situation? :

-What Mix or can I Mix to improve the situation? :

-What should I increase to improve the situation? :

-What should I reduce to improve the situation? :

-What is the opposite – or the reverse of this situation?:

Live and love

Happiness is Living and Loving.

C) Our own past and our Present

1.- Our Achievements as children:

We must look at what was our past and see it in a positive way, seeing our achievements regarding Sports, in the dances of graduation or graduation or school year, our awards obtained in school with subjects such as mathematics, spelling, science, among others .

What have been or were our achievements and joys so small with our parents in our home, with our neighbors and friends, our happy moments with our friends and colleagues on vacation, in our neighborhood.

The happy moments with our family, parents and siblings in the house and outside the house. What I liked more to do with my parents and / or siblings?

2.- Our Achievements when we were Young:

I must also look back on how my youth was:

My achievements in Sports, in the dances of grade or graduations or pass of the school year, our awards obtained in school with subjects such as mathematics, spelling, science, among others.

What were our achievements with our parents in our home, with our neighbors and friends, our happy moments with our friends and colleagues on vacation, in our neighborhood.

The happy moments with our family, parents and siblings in the house and outside the house. What I liked more to do with my parents and / or siblings? That I liked to share, eat, play, what was my most crucial and important moment in my youth, in my school with my friends, what were my good youth secrets?

D) The Future Projection of the Family

1.- The Family and Life

The Family is the fundamental cell of society. The Family is Life itself. When the family is destroyed it is chaos, we go without direction or direction and we do not care about traveling by plane or bus, boat or train since we do not have a port of arrival, sometimes we can rebuild the home, but it is very difficult , values ​​already float in the air and not in our hearts or in our brain. We accept a series of arrangements for convenience, but not for sincerity or for love, this we must avoid, because the family is the fundamental cell of society, and the main support and support of people.

2.- The Projection to the Future

– Eros and desire

In Greek mythology, Eros was the Greek god of attraction. His Roman counterpart was Cupid-desire. Some myths make him a primordial god, while in other myths, he is the son of Aphrodite. He was one of the winged gods of love, Erotes. Everything starts here, here families begin.

– Love and Attraction

“To the lovers, read them your imaginary world, with everything you need, like the stars of the sky, the red roses next to the wall, the flowering of the oxicant, of the music, the sweet notes, and all other things that could be desired to be able to picture each other of the beauty of their love for eternity “. Taken from Personal Growth Book – Non Nova Sed Nova – by Dr. Ramon Arellano Sanchez

– Love

I wanted to keep the sense more precise in the first word, which is said in Greek makro-thymía, which means thymos or great spirit. According to that, love is brave, suffered. Many translations put patient, in the sense of being able to endure and maintain. Both senses, the most active (brave, prolix) and the most receptive (patient), are appropriate and express the capacity for resistance and creative power of love, which are maintained where all other qualities fail or end. In this sense, we say that he is kind (khresteuetai), with the nuance of utility: that which always serves and is always worthwhile. This is how Paul stressed the original character of love, reality and value first on the path of life, as God created it. Neither the mystical experiences, nor the prophecy, nor the martyrdom can be put at the beginning. The point of departure and the basis on which the path of men is based is love, which gives meaning and validity to everything.

– The perfect family

There is no perfect family but you should or should look for a family that is as perfect as possible.

The family is the most sacred property, the most intimate relationship and the expression of incomparable solidarity, is the group of people related to each other, who live together and are under the authority of one of them, includes ascendants, descendants, collaterals and related of a person, in addition, forms the kinship, within which is the common trunk and the consanguineous or collateral branches, structuring the genealogical tree.

They meet to eat, chat, tell each other what has happened in the day and on the street, celebrate a party or a birthday, pray, pray … in short for many things that are not done with strangers, consequently, the common is that the family meets alone, without auditions or consideration by people outside of family privacy.

– Hope, happiness and family:

Happiness and family, then consists in satisfaction, taste, contentment and that is why we talk about the happiness of the world. If we are satisfied, we are happy, and happy, what else can we demand of life? . Happiness is a life purpose that we should look for as a value to advance our personal growth and that of our family.

It is necessary that we begin to view old age and not wait for it without having taken the necessary precautions for such a case, but a vision not of the eyes but of the mind, to see with mental clarity the birth, growth development, adolescence, youth, adulthood and old age We must understand, desire and know what we want in each of these stages so as not to fall on the cliff or go to the precipice of unhappiness.

– Planning

The human being is a social being and has the constant need of company, there is nothing better than having someone to share at the end of the day, be it a family member, a friend or our partner.

– Reconciliation

It has been common to say ‘anything goes’ and the translation is good, but I wanted to keep the nuance of ‘coverage’, linked to the original meaning of the word stegê (roof, roof), of which the verb used here is used ( stegei) Just as a roof covers the house and allows its inhabitants to live sheltered from wind and rain, love protects and covers lovers forever. Love is that covering of God that keeps our life protected, free from the irritation and the storm of the times, in faith and in hope. That is why it is added that the same love believes everything, everything expects it. Faith and hope are, according to that, expansions of love, because only love is capable of always trusting (of putting oneself in the hands of God, of being in the hands of others) and of remaining expectant, knowing that life is the way of love God. The text has repeated three times an essential word (panta), which we have translated for everything, but which, in the strict sense, also always means. Thus we could have said that love always covers, always believes, always waits, uniting the most temporal (always) and the most spatial (all) of love interpreted as total reality, but creative and liberating. There is a dictatorial whole, as the Jewish philosophers are emphasizing in a special way: a whole that oppresses and submits equally to all. Here, on the other hand, we have a whole love that covers and protects, allowing us to live in gratuitousness.

– The Improvement that will always be

In this last case, which is the conclusion and the culmination of the previous development, we must translate the panta (which used to be ‘all’) forever, saying that love always remains, as the first and last reality, which is identified with God and which expresses itself in the form of an enduring path, of fullness, for men. By saying that it remains (hypomenei) we are not simply indicating that it lasts passively, but that it remains firm, active, always and in everything (thus giving the double meaning to the word panta). Perhaps we could add that the same love is that creative patience, giving to that word the meaning that has the name of the same root (hypomonê) in the book of the Apocalypse: in the middle of the great struggle of history, the patience of God rests and triumphs, which is revealed in believers, that is, in those who maintain the love of the sacrificed Lamb. All the realities of the world change, all end and die. Only active patience remains, as the presence and permanence of a love that covers everything, believes and expects it, overcoming the wear and tear of time and revealing in the midst of this life of trials the face and joy of God.

– The Family Reunion the possibility of a Happy End

To achieve a family reunion all this leads to agreeing the same, and agreeing means resolving in common agreement between the parties. The agreement in the families when making transcendental decisions, is based on the fulfillment of the roles of the man and the woman very well defined. That is, together they carry out and study the process to make the decision, but between them the decision is made. However, there are decisions of less significance that are taken by any of the parties. That is why in companies to avoid failure is handled the same empowerment scheme for decision making, leading them to have great success in their management to fulfill their mission and vision.

When to give in and when to stay in a position at the time of the need to make decisions in the family?

Having clear the role of Man and Woman within this company called “Family”, it is understood that in the decision process differences in positions can be presented to make a decision. However, if both men and women are clear that the objective is to fulfill the mission of the Family, which is its growth and the multiplication of benefits for all, to give or maintain a position will not be a conflict because there will be valid arguments to support the mission. This means that the man or woman does not win by giving up or maintaining a position because whoever wins is the Family.

By giving both and reaching certain family reunion is achieved if that is the case in particular, but for any case the philosophy is less the same as a negotiation, both must try to win-win, so that in the end win all in Oneness

– The reunion with our ancestors

Sooner or later when we are not here on earth, we will meet again with our ancestors and we will understand more deeply the mysteries and intrigues that here on Earth and our limitations we can not and will never understand.

“ Behold, I have set the land before you; enter and take possession of the land which the LORD swore to give to your fathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to them and to their descendants after them. “

Deuteronomy 1,8

‘What hope we have in the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, Our hope is that we will see our loved ones again; not in a fuzzy and distant world of spiritual fantasy, but as palpable, cheerful, talking and living people, with whom we will meet again in the greatest hour of communication of all time.

Brethren, we do not want you to ignore what is going to happen to those who have already died, so that you do not become sad like those others who have no hope.

 (I Thessalonians 4:13 – NIV)

Finally some Ideas to Increase Values ​​and Virtues in our Children in this Era (Inspired by Da Vinci, Mozart, Bolivar, Benjamin Franklin and Walt Disney):

1.- Teach the Value and Virtue of Loving God, Parents and their Grandparents

2.- Highlight the Virtue of Sharing, of learning to Share

3.- Highlight the Value of Learning to take care of the brothers; here it is key because it includes several values ​​and virtues at the same time.

4.- Learn to have fun in a family group and friends, together and maintain family cohesion. Healthy fun.

5.- Teach and practice the Virtue of Responsibility in children.

6.- Teach the value of Love for Nature

7.- Teach the Love of the Fatherland

8.- Practice and teach the love of study and its benefits.

Teach the Value of Mathematics, Languages, Own Culture and other cultures.

9.- Teach the Value of Learning to Manage Technology and all its derivatives with responsibility.

10.- Increase the Value and Virtue of Friendship, of Good Friendship.

11.- Highlight and teach the Virtue of Temperance.

12.- Teach the virtue of Frugality in children: do not waste time in nonsense, knowing how to use time usefully.

13.- Teach children to save and even more to transform this savings into investment, in the case of children, buy productive and useful things like computers and things of value useful at your age; and bigger to teach them to work and produce money, teach them about business, entrepreneurship and financial intelligence according to each age.

“Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine hidden in the most common situations, and it is up to each of you to discover it”

Saint Josemaria Escriva de Balaguer